don’t be the reason someone’s afraid to love again

some people give you the world—then take it back before you’ve even unpacked.

don’t make someone fall in love with you if you’re not ready to love them.
don’t flirt with someone’s heart if you know you’re not in a place to hold it.

it’s not romantic.
it’s not harmless.
it’s reckless.

if you’re still healing, still unsure, still not done playing games—that’s okay. but don’t pull someone else into your storm and then blame them for drowning. don’t breadcrumb them with attention. don’t say all the right things just to disappear when it’s no longer convenient. don’t play the role of “the one” if you have no intention of staying.

because when you make someone feel special and then pull away, it doesn’t just hurt—it reshapes them. it leaves behind more than silence. it leaves confusion, self-doubt, and a version of them they don’t recognize anymore.

that’s why people fear love.
not because love itself is the enemy.
but because someone once made it feel like a trap instead of a home.
because someone once made them feel chosen—then dropped them without warning.
because someone once opened every door… and then shut them all at once.
no closure. no explanation. just gone.

so now they hesitate.
now they flinch at kindness.
now they don’t believe people when they say “i care.”

and to the person who loves quickly—the one who gives their heart away too fast:

please slow down.
i know you’re tired of almosts. i know you crave something real.
but love isn’t real just because you feel it. love becomes real when it's returned with action, with commitment, with care.

don’t fall in love with a version of them you made up in your head.
don’t start dreaming of forever with someone who’s only showing you their highlight reel.
and don’t pour your everything into someone who hasn’t proven they can hold it.

it’s not about being guarded—it’s about being wise.
it’s about loving yourself enough to wait for someone who’s ready.
who shows up when it’s hard. who keeps choosing you when it’s not convenient.
who doesn’t just want your light—but stays through your shadow.

because real love isn’t loud and instant.
it’s quiet.
it’s steady.
it’s earned.

it’s not just about who makes your heart race.
it’s about who makes it feel safe.

so take your time.
watch how they treat you when they’re tired.
pay attention to what they do when you're hurting.
believe patterns, not promises.
trust effort, not intensity.
choose peace over potential.

because you deserve more than someone who says all the right things and vanishes.
you deserve more than emotional scraps.
you deserve love that shows up—in the daylight, in the mess, in the middle of your worst days.

so no—you don’t get to love me lightly.

you don’t get to say things you don’t mean.
you don’t get to hold my heart like a souvenir and then walk away untouched.
i’ve outgrown almosts. i’ve outgrown the fantasy of “potential.”

now, i want real. i want honest. i want steady.
someone who doesn’t just say “i care”—but shows up when it matters.

and maybe next time, i won’t be scared.
maybe next time, love won’t feel like something i have to earn.
maybe next time, it won’t feel like too much.

because i know what i bring.
and i’m done dimming my light just to fit inside someone else’s shadow.
i’d rather be alone than confused.
rather wait than settle.
rather protect my peace than chase their attention.

this time, i choose me.
and if they want to stay—really stay—they’ll have to mean it.

💌 a note from me to you:

if this made your chest feel heavy or your throat feel tight—same.
i wrote this for the people who were made to feel like they were too much when in truth, they were just too real.
i wrote it for the version of me who kept trying to be “easy to love,” when love should never be that hard.

so if you’re healing, if you’re learning, if you’re finally walking away—i’m proud of you.
keep choosing yourself.
keep raising your standards.
keep believing that love should build you, not break you.

because the right one?
won’t make you question your worth.
they’ll remind you of it every single day.